As a baby, everything — and everyone — was some form of entertainment. At this age, however, toddlers start to show preferences for certain types of toys, games and playmates. Some follow the more traditional gender script: girls may be drawn to dolls, boys may like cars. Other girls prefer to dig in the dirt, while boys want to throw tea parties.
Whatever your child’s interests — whether that’s dinosaurs or drawing — encourage them, don’t stifle them.
And if you’re thrilled about your toddler’s newly discovered love of fire trucks? Don’t get too attached to the idea. Your child's interests now don’t necessarily reflect what they'll be in the future. Your toddler will go through plenty of phases in life — consider it the first of many! It may seem as if your toddler never stops moving, but he’s observing the world around him more than you might think. And don’t fret if it’s the opposite situation and your tot is sitting on the sidelines while his peers are racing around — he’s participating in his own way and that’s fine. One thing that’s not fine is a toddler’s tendency to put all sorts of objects in places where they don’t belong, like his nose, ears and mouth. Be firm about this behavior as you explain why it’s a bad idea to shove a raisin in his nostril. Speaking of explanations, now is a good time to start teaching your toddler about the concept of time. A good place to start — talk about your schedule: “First, we’ll go to the library, then we’ll go to the playground.” Remind your little one about what happens on particular days of the week: “On Sundays, we go to Grandma’s.” Routines are an increasingly important part of a toddler’s day since they represent calm in the storm of their very busy little lives. Routines can help smooth transitions, especially when it comes to toddler bedtime routines, morning schedules and day care departures. Another key to keeping a toddler on an even keel is offering the right kind of comfort when things go wrong. For example, if your little one gets a boo-boo, stay calm and you’ll help your tot do the same. Listen without lectures of I-told-you-so’s (there’s plenty of time for those later) and offer unconditional comfort, no matter whose fault it was. A kiss, too, goes a long way to make things all better. By now, your toddler may have put up some big numbers in the height and weight department: At 21 months, boys weigh anywhere from 20 to 32 pounds, and are about 31 to 35½ inches tall. Girls weigh about 19 to 31 pounds, and measure 30½ to 35½ inches tall. Just because your toddler is packing on the pounds, however, doesn’t necessarily mean he has a nutrient-packed diet. Many toddlers are more likely to fling vegetables off the table — particularly the green ones — than they are to put them in their mouths. That’s not surprising: A lot of green vegetables have strong flavors and tricky textures, which can pose a challenge for those timid taste buds. Right now, you can try sneaking some veggies into casseroles and baked goods, but don’t give up on the long game of introducing vegetables during meals. Research shows it can take up to 15 tries for a child to accept a new food. There’s no well-visit on the docket this month (feels strange not to visit the doctor’s office as often, doesn’t it?), but there’s still plenty that’s going on this month. Gone are the days of making a quick run to the grocery store. (In fact, gone are the days of doing anything quickly.) Now, shopping trips are more like shopping expeditions — you spend more time wrangling your tot into the cart than you spend picking out produce. To make shopping more fun, recruit your little one to be your assistant. Let your tot help you find the food on your list or “choose” which aisle to go down next. Some stores also have specially designed carts, in the form of race cars or fire trucks for your toddler to sit in, which can make the ride more appealing. Has your daily dressing routine turned into a marathon session, with you chasing your tot from room to room? Toddlers are full of energy, but he may also be trying to get your attention when everyone else is getting dressed themselves. Make a game out of getting ready by saying “peek-a-boo” before slipping a shirt over his head. Or ask “Where’s your foot?” as you put on his pants. This way, he’s more likely to squeal with delight than shriek with annoyance. Sure, you’re the one making all the decisions (and for good reason), but it never hurts to give your toddler the occasional choice between two options. For example, if your child dislikes getting dressed in the morning, hold up two shirts and ask him to point to which one he wants to wear. At the breakfast table, ask whether your tot wants to eat cereal or toast. Sometimes he’ll respond with a “no,” but other times, he’ll make a selection on his own— something that will boost your toddler's decision-making skills and confidence. Even the most calm and collected parents feel an occasional urge to spank their child. After all, there’s a good chance that you were spanked, and your parents were spanked, and your grandparents were spanked … and everyone turned out fine, right? Maybe so. But nearly all experts agree that spanking isn’t a good disciplinary tool. Not only does it reinforce the fact that it’s okay to use violence — and research shows that children who are spanked are more likely to use physical force against their peers — but it can also lead to a serious injury, especially if the situation escalates. If, despite your best efforts to avoid spanking, you lash out with a slap on the bottom in the heat of the moment, you can apologize right away, and offer an explanation of why you did it: “I’m sorry I hit you. You scared me when you ran into the street.” Art lessons, dance classes, gymnastics — there’s no shortage of educational and extracurricular activities that are aimed at the toddler set. They aren’t a must-do by any means, but they do offer some benefits. For starters, these activity centers are usually stocked with materials and equipment that you may not have (or want to keep) at home, like tambourines and drums, paint and markers, or foam climbing mats. And your little one won’t be the only one getting a chance to interact with people his own age — they also give you a chance to meet new parents too. If you’re still on the fence about signing up your toddler for a class, ask if you can try one out for free or observe it virtually. This should give you a sense of whether you want to make the commitment. It’s a fact of life: If you have a toddler, he will have tantrums. Yes, they’re frustrating (and occasionally ear-splitting), but they’re also developmentally appropriate, and can be a release for some pent-up feelings of frustration. Put yourself in his toddler-size shoes: Your tot needs to communicate with you, but doesn’t yet have the language skills to do so. He may be hungry, tired, overstimulated, bored or simply lacking impulse control (or all of the above!). Add it up, and it’s no wonder that you have a recipe for a toddler meltdown. To ward off temper tantrums, stick to a regular schedule whenever possible (meals and naps at the same time every day), keep snacks on hand, and encourage your child to blow off some steam by throwing a ball — as opposed to banging his head on the wall. Most importantly, try to stay calm yourself. Getting fired up will only add fuel to your toddler’s already raging fire. Is your toddler talking the talk … minus any actual words? At this age, his “language” probably sounds a lot like gibberish, but if you listen closely, you can likely pick out some single- or double-syllable sounds that (to him) mean real words. “Ba” may mean ball; “uh” may mean “up”; and “ma” may mean milk. It’ll take another year or so for your child to speak clearly enough for close family members or caregivers to understand him, but you won’t be playing charades for much longer. Every day, he gets a little better at communicating, and you get a little better at understanding your toddler.Your 21-month-old child’s development
At a Glance
Your 21-month-old child’s growth
Your 21-month-old child’s health & care
Toddler tips & info
Reviewed March 22, 2022 From the What to Expect editorial team and Heidi Murkoff, author of What to Expect When You're Expecting. What to Expect follows strict reporting guidelines and uses only credible sources, such as peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions and highly respected health organizations. Learn how we keep our content accurate and up-to-date by reading our medical review and editorial policy.
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