If your child’s formerly favorite food now makes him shriek in disgust, welcome to the wonderful world of picky eating.
There’s no doubt that pickiness at mealtimes is frustrating, but like many other eccentricities of the almost-3 set, this behavior seems to go with the territory.
Part of the reason for your toddler’s fussiness is a desire to have (a little) control over his world … or at least, what goes into his mouth. Plus, toddlers are also resistant to change, and trying a brand new food can be a big-time ask.
There are plenty of healthy solutions for picky eaters, among them respecting the fact that toddlers aren’t always hungry when it’s convenient for parents to feed them.
Here’s what else is on the horizon in month 31. A toddler’s first friend is often an imaginary one. Surprised? About two-thirds of tots have a pretend friend — and it’s no wonder why. An imaginary pal not only provides companionship but also serves as an alter-ego who can act as a conscience or a scapegoat when things get hairy. Embrace this new buddy, but let your little one take the lead. Don’t use your toddler’s imaginary friend to try to coax your little one into eating peas, and don’t let your child use the “friend” to escape the consequences of misdeeds. Also common at this age: toddler shyness, which may be part of your sweetie’s personality or just a passing phase. Either way, accept it without labeling or comparing your child’s behavior to that of other peers or siblings. Encourage — without being pushy — participation, and help your shy little guy ease into social situations. (“Maybe that little boy would like to meet your Teddy.”) If, once he turns 3, you find shyness truly interfering with your tot’s day-to-day life, check in with your pediatrician. Early intervention can really help a shy child overcome those nerves and fears. Your toddler is more than halfway to 3 by now, and he certainly has a lot to show for it! Most 31-month-old girls weigh about 24 to 35½ pounds and measure about 33½ to 38½ inches tall, whereas 31-month-old boys weigh about 25 to 36 pounds and measure about 34 to 39 inches tall. At this age, even the best eaters will start turning up their noses at what you serve them. Sometimes this is a temporary (and normal) phase — the “one meal a day” phase, the “only beige food” phase, the “no foods that touch each other phase” — that has to run its course; other times, it’s him exerting his independence. But the answer could also be simpler: At this age, toddlers are constantly on the move — and he simply may not feel like eating at the moment. Which is also common. Try to tune into your child’s natural hunger patterns, then build a schedule around them. In the meantime, keep mealtimes free of distractions and stress — and full of healthy choices. If he can pick and choose, he may be less likely to gripe and more likely to gulp! Now that your tot is nearly 3, you may find that you’re not as quick to call the doctor as you once were. Still, that doesn’t mean your toddler won’t keep you guessing! Earthquakes, hurricanes and blizzards can all shake up your toddler, both literally and figuratively. If a natural disaster does strike, try to stay calm. He’ll take his cue from you, so if you seem nervous or upset, he’ll follow suit. If he’s merely curious about what just happened — for example, why the ground shook — give a simple answer, like, “That’s an earthquake.” Letting him know that there’s a name for this phenomenon may help to make it seem normal, but won’t overwhelm him with unnecessary (and, at this age, abstract) details. Does your toddler want to give your mascara wand a whirl? While there’s nothing wrong with making over your munchkin, keep in mind that a 2-year-old’s skin can be extra sensitive — and some cosmetics can cause skin irritation or allergies. At your next makeup session, choose a few products that contain natural or organic ingredients, preferably ones formulated for sensitive skin. Less is more in this case — skip the pageant look (and eye makeup) in favor of a natural face: a dab of mineral blush on those cheeks or a swipe of Vaseline, for example. Believe it or not, your toddler isn’t trying to drive you crazy with his incessant questioning. Rather, at this age, children are unendingly curious about the world around them — and have likely noticed that asking “why” is a good way to get your attention. As much as possible, try to answer all his queries. Ignoring him — or telling to stop asking “why” — may stifle his curiosity in the long run. But if the endless questioning is starting to try your patience, turn the tables on him and ask him why he thinks the sky is blue or the bird chirps. Children who like asking questions may also have just as much fun coming up with their own answers! While some toddlers may be content to color with their crayons for long stretches of time, most are constantly on the move. And that’s a good thing. Unless your child is napping or sleeping, a toddler shouldn’t be inactive for more than an hour. At this age, your child should get at least 30 minutes a day of planned physical activities that are led by you or another adult. Think: Kicking a ball, riding a bike or climbing at the playground. Your toddler should also get about one hour a day of free, unstructured time during which he might build blocks, play with his toy kitchen or race cars around the room. It’s great that your toddler can feed himself, but there’s no doubt that letting him set the pace can make for an extra long mealtime. If his slow speed is making you late, try giving him a five-minute heads-up before you need to end the meal. And try to eliminate toys and TV from the picture, which can slow him down even further. Remember, too, that eating is different than playing. So once he goes from eating his cereal to playing with it, that’s your cue to end the meal. Toddlers aren’t the only ones who are prone to outbursts — adults can have them too. After all, even the most patient of parents can only tolerate so much throwing, shrieking or whining before losing their cool. To avoid an outburst in the future, decide in advance which battles you’re going to choose. You need to set limits for your toddler, but you don’t need to fight him on which cup he should drink from at breakfast or what shirt he’s going to wear. Keeping a minor argument from turning into a major blowout can prevent the frustration from building — and you from exploding. If all else fails, and you feel like you’re losing your temper, give yourself a “time-out.” Step into another room, take a deep breath and count to 10. Sometimes a short break can go a very long way. Your child is hitting speech milestones early, knows a handful of letters and numbers and can remember most of what he sees and hears. Does that mean your toddler is gifted? Maybe — but that doesn’t mean you should run out to have him tested just yet. Tests for young children aren’t always accurate, and they can only measure a limited number of skills (like memory or focus). Ask yourself, too, what you’d do with the results. If it turns out he isn’t gifted, would you be disappointed? Or if his scores are off the charts, would you enroll him in a different school? Pushing him to read before he’s 3 won’t guarantee him a degree from an Ivy League school, but it might turn him off books altogether. You don’t have to ignore your toddler’s talents, but your best bet might be to encourage his interests without pressuring him. If he likes books, read to him often. If his memory is sharp, play matching games with him. Just be sure to nurture other qualities too. It’s fine to teach him the ABCs — but don’t forget about the Ds (for diligence), Es (for empathy) and Fs (for friendliness).Your 31-month-old child’s development
At a Glance
Your 31-month-old child’s growth
Your 31-month-old child’s health & care
Toddler tips & info
Reviewed June 17, 2022 From the What to Expect editorial team and Heidi Murkoff, author of What to Expect When You're Expecting. What to Expect follows strict reporting guidelines and uses only credible sources, such as peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions and highly respected health organizations. Learn how we keep our content accurate and up-to-date by reading our medical review and editorial policy.
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