If your older baby has developed an obsession with a comfort object such as a beloved stuffed animal or blanket, he's in good company. About 60 percent of babies adopt a comfort or security object (also called a transitional object) by about 9 months of age. (Some children never develop a strong attachment to a toy or blanket and that's fine, too.)
Here's what parents and caregivers need to know about these transitional objects, plus how to prepare your child for the day when it's time to give their comfort object up.
Why do some babies adopt a transitional or comfort object?
There's a lot going on in your baby's brain around the 9-month mark: He's learning that he's his own person (separate from you) and that you're not always available for cuddle sessions. To help him deal with these Big Thoughts, a small, snuggly object sometimes comes in handy (although kids have been known to embrace everything from pacifiers to cloth diapers to T-shirts to empty plastic bottles — it's hard to say what will appeal).
Say your child becomes obsessed with his stuffed rabbit. It might seem like a toy to you, but to your baby, that comfort object is a whole lot more. To him, the stuffed animal is security-to-go, a perfectly portable object that is a constant source of support and reassurance that's always there for him, night and day.
And though it may not look like you (or smell like you, even on your grungiest shower-skipping days), a transitional object does represent you — or, at least, the security you provide. The difference between you and a stuffed rabbit (aside from your lack of floppy ears and cotton-tail) is that the bunny is under your child's control. While you come and go (sometimes when he'd least like you to go — at bedtime, for instance), his rabbit stays faithfully by his side, tucked under his little arm or clutched in his sticky fist.
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Transitional objects serve as a kind of substitute parent when you're not around and are especially desirable when your baby is feeling sleepy, sick or anxious. Relying on his fluffy friend allows him to rely on you less, making it easier for him to separate from you. In turn, this helps your child take those first strides toward independence.
All of this is normal and healthy — and certainly nothing to be concerned about. Just make sure that loveys and stuffed animals stay out of the crib — for safe sleep, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says that babies should not sleep with soft objects or toys of any kind.
When should children give up a transitional object?
Comfort objects are usually given up sometime between the ages of 2 and 5. But giving it up may be a tough transition. Sometimes losing the lovey (or having it finally disintegrate into a pile of thread or puff of cotton) is the moment of truth — your child may have a sad couple of days while he mourns the passing of his old buddy.
But there are ways to prepare him now for that inevitable day and to keep Blankie's presence from overruling your household:
- Set lovey limits. Reserve it for use only at home. (This is easier to do if the attachment is new.)
- Keep it clean. Again easier to do if you start from the early stages of your baby's devotion: Wash the object often, before he becomes just as attached to its smell as he is to its sight and feel.
- Save a spare. Invest in a duplicate lovey to keep in reserve; swap it for the original whenever you need to wash one so that they wear evenly. Plus, now you have a backup in case the unthinkable happens.
- Rotate them. If you have more than one lovey, you can rotate them on a regular basis so that one doesn't become too grubby, lose an eye or begin to smell more than the others (a run through the washing machine can help in that department).
Finally, though you should never discourage your child from seeking security from his comfort object, you can prepare him for the inevitable transition — from baby-with-lovey to preschooler-without-lovey — by gently reminding him that when he's a "big kid," he'll no longer need his comfort object.
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